When Fathers Fail, Predators are more Likely to Succeed! The Silent Story of Sexual Abuse, including the Penn State Scandal
By Kenneth Braswell, Fathers Incorporated, Stacey Bouchet, Women In Fatherhood, Inc. and David Miller; Raising Him Alone Campaign
There are myriad reasons why the Penn State scandal has consumed news headlines. As advocates for responsible fatherhood and mentoring, we see it as another steep cost of fatherlessness because we understand the vital importance of healthy, loving fathers to children. For us, the PSU allegations represent a screaming call for increased efforts to support children who are particularly vulnerable to the advances of predators, children without fathers or strong male role models.
Research shows that children who live in father-absent homes face higher risks of physical and sexual abuse than children who live with their biological fathers; these children are overrepresented by poor boys of color. Sandusky’s program was a perfect cover for this abuse. Consider how the vicious cycle of fatherlessness increases opportunities for predators. Disadvantaged children of color are the most likely to enter programs as a result of mothers seeking safe places of mentorship to compensate for a missing parent, overwhelmingly fathers. The desire to be loved and cared for can manifest itself in ways that make children vulnerable to abuse by misleading adults. Make no mistake–predators are well aware of this!
We can speculate on what might have happened at PSU, who did what, and what should be done to the principals involved. However, until we recognize as a society that fatherlessness is an access gate for predators, the problem will continue. Thus, the clarion call for responsible fatherhood and mentoring organizations is to fill in the gap of protection and support for our vulnerable children. Many of these youth will have to navigate relationships with adults and peers who do not have their best interests at heart, so it is imperative they have healthy male role models to trust and demonstrate loving behavior. The best learning environment for this is in a household with two responsible, nurturing and engaged biological parents. When that isn’t possible, other appropriate supports need to be put in place.
This might be accomplished in several ways. First, raise awareness: children who are most vulnerable often lack uninvolved fathers. This story needs to be told more; the importance of fathers needs to be the message. Second, maintain vigilance and take precautions. Make sure children are not left unsupervised. Talk to children about what physical, emotional and sexual boundaries look like, even when the conversation is uncomfortable. Third, be smart. Parents should have their radars up. We are not advocating for “witch hunts,” but rather adequate screening tools for professionals who work with kids. Parents must be involved with the organization and engaged with their children on levels that can alert them to signs of trouble. Often parents don’t want to believe a friend or family member would prey on children, but they must also know and look for warning signs. Fourth, keep the victims as the main focus of the story so their pain isn’t silenced. Joe Paterno should NOT have been the main headliner in this scandal! And fifth, see something, say something, do something! Too many of us sit back and watch the social drama when issues are uncovered, but don’t take time to demonstrate concerns in meaningful ways. Are we talking with other parents, our church, our PTA? Are you a man who can volunteer your time as a much needed mentor to a child?
The Penn State scandal is a warning shot across the bow of our lives—a call for the need to get serious about increased father involvement and male role models for the safety and well-being of our children. How many adults who claim to care will answer this call?
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Mr. Braswell is the author of “When The Tear Won’t Fall” One Man’s Journey through the Intimate Struggle of Manhood and Fatherhood. Stacy Bouchet is the Co-Director of Women In Fatherhood and David Miller is the CEO of the Urban Leadership Institute. Visit www.fathersincorporated.com or email us at fathersincorporated@gmail.com
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